Codependency Therapy in NYC
Hi, my name is Kate, and I’m a codependency therapist in NYC.
You may be feeling like you’re always trying to please others. You may be feeling like you are always giving to others, leaving yourself exhausted. You may be feeling like you are always trying to fix other people’s problems, but your own problems get little to no attention. You may be feeling like you don’t know where you end and other people begin (whether this is your relationship with parents, partners or friends). I understand, and I’m here to help.
I help people learn to trust themselves, and to understand the difference between wanting to help and feeling obligated to help. I help people grow more secure in their own feelings, and to understand that they don’t have to “do” or “fix” others to be worthy of love. I help people connect to who they are, and to differentiate that from who others are. I help people move away from shame into compassion.
If you’re ready to start feeling better, schedule a complimentary consultation with me today.
My Approach to Codependency Therapy in NYC
Codependency can be tied to a few things. It can be tied to feeling like you need to present in a certain way to be loved. It can be tied to wanting to help others, and the pain that can come with seeing loved ones struggle. It can be linked to emotional trauma. It can even be influenced by the messages that society feeds us about what love should look like (self-sacrifice, losing yourself, having no boundaries). As a codependency therapist, I like to work with people to tease out the causes. We can then start implementing tools and techniques to start shifting patterns that are no longer serving you.
In working with codependency, I like to look at how we are experiencing relationships. Have you been shamed for setting boundaries? Have you been praised for always being there for others? What would you lose if you start setting boundaries? What would you gain? Starting to look at these factors helps start to tease out what feels right for each person.
As a codependency therapist, I work to meet you with compassion. I believe each of us has many parts of ourselves. Each of those parts is trying to protect you in some way. Sometimes that leaves us where we want to be; sometimes it doesn’t.
Meeting each part of ourselves with compassion rather than shame, helps us move more easily through our challenges.
As we start to unravel the patterns in our lives, we can start looking at shifting the ones that are no longer working. When doing this, I like to incorporate somatic pieces. How does it feel to make certain choices? How can we reassure your nervous system that you will be OK, that you will survive? What pace feels OK for you?
The work in codependency therapy is in connecting to and understanding yourself. It is also looking at what parts of relationships are serving you, and how. It is teasing out what is in our control and what is not (this can feel really hard).
My aim as a codependency therapist is to companion you on your journey. I foster shame free spaces, where I show up as an authentic person. Together, I hope we can find a way for you to feel more solid in yourself and your choices.
Codependency Therapy in NYC FAQs
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Yes, therapy can be beneficial in unraveling codependent tendencies. A therapist can help identify patterns that may or may not be useful for you, and work with you compassionately to start shifting. Additionally, if a therapist has a lens in working with trauma, they may be able to help address some underlying causes of codependency. Codependency can often be tied to families where there has been/is addiction or emotional neglect. A therapist can help in your path to healing.
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Therapy that directly addresses the codependent tendencies, and can address underlying trauma that can cause codependency is often best. A codependency therapist who can explore the root causes with compassion, and give tools for setting boundaries and coping with emotional challenges can be helpful for codependency.
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There are several tools you can use to help stop codependent tendencies. Therapy can be helpful. So can support groups like Alanon, CODA (codependents anonymous), or ACOA (adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families). The work to stop being codependent usually includes taking time to understand your wants and needs more clearly, setting boundaries, and teasing apart what is and is not within your control.
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Codependency often comes from growing up in a home where there was addiction or emotional neglect. Sometimes in chaotic relationships, we want to find stability. That desire may lead to bending over backwards, or giving the entirety of yourself. It can become a natural tendency to want to “fix” things to keep peace in your home or in your relationships. Wanting to help is a beautiful thing, but it can become a problem when it is repeatedly at the expense of yourself.
Get help from a codependency therapist in New York
I know how difficult it is when you have lost yourself. I know how hard it can be to let go of control of certain situations you want to change. And I know that sometimes it can feel hard to believe you are worthy of love for so much more than your ability to help others. I’m looking forward to talking to you as a codependency therapist in New York to see how I can help you. Schedule a complimentary 15 minute consult call, and we can talk about if we are a good match.